Disclaimer: THIS IS A JOKEÂ
Ed M: How is the Business Growth Fund going?
PM: I’d happily blame you gits for every problem we’re facing. We are doing more than you
Ed M: Keep chatting shit. You’ve helped two businesses. Are you doing enough?
PM: You failed to control banks, so *blows raspberry*
Ed M: Bosses have given themselves big pay rises. What you doing about it?
PM: I agree w/ Archbishop, they should be more responsible.
Ed M; We taxed the rich more. Would you tax more people?
PM: Your party in govt, allowed cleaners to pay more tax than their bosses.
Ed M: You allow the 99% get screwed over. You are the 1%.
PM: You’ve hired a former tax exile to run your campaign.
MP: Stop stolen metal being sold. These wankers can’t get away with it anymore
PM: Yes it is terrible, I’ll back measures to stop it
Dodds (DUP): Increase the Fuel Winter Allowance
PM: We are following Labour’s plans. Consumers should shop around for the best deal
MP (Con): Senior Labour Party MPs want to support strike action – the irresponsible bastards.
PM: I agree, they are complete dicks.
MP: Getting rid of the Chief Coroner is a disgrace
PM: We will improve the performance of coroners by abolishing this post
Evennett: Govt pension reforms will ensure workers still get the best pensions
PM: We are cutting their pensions everyone should back it.
Darling: Shouldn’t the G20 be doing more about the EU crisis.
PM: Yes it should, the Greeks caused this mess. They need to sort it out .
Hollobone (Con): Foreigners are taking our jobs, don’t give them citizenships too.
PM: We are stopping dirty non-EU immigration
MP: The smoking ban is right. We need to extend it to drivers
PM: Yes it worked, but I’m a liberal so not sure about ban in cars too
MP: We need more green jobs in Scotland
PM: Yes but you will only get it if you don’t vote for independence
Whitehead (Lab): You are cutting solar feed-in tariffs. You idiot.
PM: We are giving you a £3bn Green Investment Bank, stop complaining.
Evans (Con): Please praise my constituency school for being great, lots of celebs went to it.
PM: Very impressive. Congratulations.
Clark (Lab): Postal workers are being attacked by dogs, let’s protect these workers.
PM: Not sure what we can do but I’ll look into it
Hughes (LD): We need empower shareholders to hold bosses to account to stop high pay
PM: More women in the boardroom is the answer!
Lammy (Lab): In Tottenham 28,000 people are chasing 150 jobs. Create more jobs!
PM: They should get on their bikes and find a job.
Stuart: Rural firefighters need help
PM: I’ll look into it.
MP: The economy is flatlining, is your plan good enough?
PM: We’re cutting tax for big business, we are helping the exploiters.
MP: It’s national adoption week. What you doing about it?
PM: There is too much bureaucracy, we will privatise it to improve it.
Docherty (Lab): Your defence review is crap, please think again
PM: We’ve had one defence review and you want another one!
Opperman: Will you welcome my local new free school bid?
PM: Yes and Ed Balls is full of shit. We are increasing money in Education.
Lucas (Green): Commit to the Robin Hood Tax
PM: I support it but if the US won’t agree it, I won’t mention it.
Farron (LD): Food security is a real issue in Britain.
PM: Farmers need more de-regulation. We will make it happen.
Betts (Lab): Are you building more homes than Labour did before the recession?
PM: We will provide more affordable housing!
