So as construction workers blocked roads in the City of London, students assembled for 10,000+ strong demonstration against the education fees and cuts… our rulers and would be counterparts held their weekly debate. Here is our translation for your reading pleasure…
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A JOKE
Huppert: Does making sackings easier boost UK economy?
PM: We are making it easier for employers to sack… employ people
Ed M: I love the military. How many people entered the UK under May’s pilot scheme?
PM: We arrested more immigrants under her pilot.
Ed M: FAIL! You don’t know any figures. Useless Tories.
PM: We have increased arrests in illegal immigrants. What more do you want?
Ed M: When things go wrong “it’s not me guv”. Shouldn’t May take responsibility?
PM: You fuck. Labour let all the Johnny Poles come in
Ed M: You are letting more foreigners in now.
PM: We are more xenophobic than you. We will finish Fortress Britain that you started.
Ed M: This is a complete fiasco. How many UKBA jobs you are cutting?
PM: We are taking back to 2006 levels when you were in the Treasury.
Ed M: “Broken promises, gross incompetence, your govt is a shambles”
PM: Shut up & listen to Glasman: “Labour lied on immigration”
Streeter (Con): Send a message to royal marines who marching in my patch.
PM: I know they are amazing. They are protecting Britain
MP (Lab): Should these greedy bankers in RBS be given bonuses?
PM: No, but I’ll do nothing about it.
Leigh (Con): A Red Arrow pilot died, they need more safety, save my local RAF base.
PM: This is sad and I’ll look into it.
Banks (Lab): Why you letting my young people down?
PM: We need private sector growth that’s why we are sacking public sector workers
Aldous (Con): We’ve got a new school to give young people hope in my patch
PM: Yes we are providing money, well done us.
Campbell (DUP): We’ve sacrified lots for Britain. We should have the poppies all over Northern Ireland & in every shop.
PM: I agree.
Selous (Con): “Let’s stick together” initiative is helping couples stay together for the sake of the kids.
PM: Great work, let’s build Broken Britain
MP: The Middle East needs a two state solution, vote with Palestine at the UN.
PM: It does but we won’t rock the boat with the US.
Munt (LD): Some can donate their winter fuel allowance to the poor
PM: Interesting idea, but we will deliver it to all pensioners.
Leslie (Lab): Publish all ministerial documents regarding UKBA
PM: Trying to help out Ed M? There will be an inquiry, shut up you fool #pmqs
Crouch: The Poppy is great for remembering the soldiers. Condemn FIFA
PM: You speak for the whole country. FIFA are bastards
Davies (Lab): You are removing poorer voters from registeration
PM: I understand why you are against this, saving your shitty small constituency.
Brookes (LD): Park home owners are being attacked. Do something
PM: Yes we will. Its happening in my patch too.
Blears (Lab): I’m getting poor people interested in politics.
PM: Yes you are great on social mobility. I’ll try to boost your career.
Lumley (Con): Is it right for GMB union to dictate voting decisions to MPs?
PM: No, Labour should use their own brains.
MP: Can we stop unemployment rising higher please?
PM: It is already too high, we are doing all we can!
Johnson (Con): We must stop the Euro-crisis contagion from spreading.
PM: Good point, we must obey the markets or they’ll ruin us all.
MP: We got 34% youth unemployment in Tyneside, bring back Future Jobs Fund!
PM: Under Labour it went up 40%! We won’t, FJF was shit.
Shellbrooke (Con): War is failure of politics. The Poppy is not political
PM: I agree, its not a left or right issue. We must honour the soldiers
Bell (Lab): Help the Euro-zone, bail them out.
PM: The Euro-zone members must do it first, we can’t do it for them.
Cash (Con): We need a new EU treaty. We will back you 100%
PM: We will defend the national interest.
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