So as the Democratic Republic of Congo’s stolen election is being protested against in the streets of London this is what was discussed in the mother of all parliaments…
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A JOKE
Fuller: So no bankers or ministers are going to jail. Why not?
PM: The crisis was caused by bankers & shitty politicans like Ed Balls.
Ed M: PM said he care about jobs. WTF happened?
PM: Unemployment is a tragedy for my career. I’m rehashing Labour policies to fix it.
Ed M: Not working. For every private sector job created, 13 public sector job cuts.
PM: We need to cut welfare & pensions. U’d do same
Ed M: Keep stabbing this generation of young people in the back
PM: You want to saddle generations with debt. I only want student debt
Ed M: Worthless. You gone from broke-back coalition, to broken coalition.
PM: It’s not that bad, it’s not like we’re Mili-brothers!
Ed M: *looks like a dick*, the PM must renegotiate with the EU.
PM: Fuck right off. I’m standing up for Britain’s bankers.
Ed M: Get a better bargain for Britain. Miserable failure
PM: You make indecision into an art form Labour wants a new leader for Xmas
Vickers: Let’s have more local TV as it’s part of the Big Society. Please let me show your round my patch.
PM: Err.. maybe
Blunkett: I made citizenship 2 make sure immigrants learn English
PM: Well done for keeping out non-English speaking Johnny Foreigners
MP: We need financial education for young people. Support it.
PM: That’s not why I want to review the curriculum! But ok…
MP: Many are preyed & ripped of by Pay Day Loans. Do something!
PM: You are Citizen’s Advice Bureaux ex-employee, so I’ll listen
Wright: Little kids are buying cheap alcohol, its destroying our pubs.
PM: Disgusting, it breeds Chavs don’t you know. I’ll look into it.
MP: You are a failure in the North East.
PM: Your local airport needs to be privatised.
Murray: Immigration caused this crisis. Stop it happening again.
PM: Far too many foreigners came in, we are stopping it.
Scot MP: Scottish Children are being robbed by this government.
PM: You are chatting shit. We are taxing bankers more than Labour.
York MP: I love tourism. You should promote our regions during Olympics
PM: Good point. Could lead the recovery!
Ali: Bangladesh is 40 years old on Friday will it survive Climate Change? PM: Get on well w/ corrupt President. What’s climate change?
MP: Take foreign criminals back to their countries
PM: 13% of criminals are dirty foreigners, we’ll send them back to EU countries.
Ainsworth: Are you breaking the military covenant?
PM: We doubled their pay. Giving them bribes. They can’t whinge as we sack them.
Kelly: Well done for telling the EU to bugger off.
PM: 5 words from Labour: “Let’s bankrupt Britain again”. << Note it is four words.
Labour MP: No Lib Dems voted with you last night.
PM: And Labour couldn’t organise a rebellion to stop us winning the vote. Pathetic
MP: I commend Andy Mckie, the doorkeeper of this place who is retiring. Will you. PM: Yes.
MP: Youth unemployment is increasing.. can you explain why?
PM: Cos I’m cutting jobs in the public sector & not enough Poundland jobs
Eustace: Banks are extorting money from small businesses. Its terrible
PM: I want banks to behave in fair way, like before the crisis.
Brown (not Gordon): Youth unemployment in my patch has increased 65% in a year.
PM: I’m keeping UK interests rates down, be grateful.
MP: Hospices are recycling Christmas trees. Commend that work.
PM: Absolutely. Hospices are great charities.
Cryer: You gonna publish the plans for lobbying bastards or what?
PM: Yep next month, Labour didn’t do jackshit for 13 years on this.
Sanders: Too many people are dying unnecessary of diabetes.
PM: We need to raise awareness and individuals just need to eat better.
Macguire: You wanted to reduce the benefits of disabled children. You bastard.
PM: We are not doing it… anymore.
Binley: the West Coast mainline trains are ridiculous. Sort it out.
PM: You are right. We need a high speed line to resolve it.
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