As heard by @justinthelibsoc
Blenkinsop (Lab): There is an alternative to your shitty leadership. T May!
PM: We’re lying our way back to victory
Morris (Con): Let’s imprison every black kid carrying a knife to avenge the white schoolgirl murder
PM: I happily agree
Ed M: You’ve u-turned on minimum pricing. Can you organise *anything* in a brewery?
PM: Haha! Ed Balls – your a dick
Ed M: OBR says you lied about austerity measures hurting the economy.
PM: OBR thinks your spending plans are as good as a limp dick
Ed M: So the head of OBR wrote to you cos he loves you eh? Manufacturing is down!
PM: Labour fucked up our manufacturing base
Ed M: Vince Cable wants a Plan B, is that your position?
PM: We’re accidentally increasing spending, you want to plan it!
Ed M: Only Baroness Warsi has come out to support you Cameron. Call #ACAB
PM: Tories are united against your Balls as chancellor
Ed M: The country is going to shit under your government.
PM: Why don’t you help me? Too busy dining with the Union barons
McCartney (Con): We’re exploiting lots of young people w/ Apprenticeship wages
PM: Good, 500K young’uns getting less than minimum wage
Johnson (Lab): #Bedroomtax loophole is discouraging marriage. Close it!
PM: No and It’s not a tax.
Bingham (Con): Nestle is providing new Labour camps in my patch.
PM: That’s why we must keep low tax rates for exploitation.
Blunkett (Lab): I still care about the poor starving African mites. Don’t you?
PM: I hope the UN’s charade to care will continue
Blunkett (Lab): Well done sir. Remember the poor disabled as I’m blind you know.
PM: We must use soldiers to achieve this.
Skidmore (Con): Mid-Staffordshire scandal happened under Labour. Hypocritical shits.
PM: We must learn lessons & not blame anyone
Long (All): How can we keep the Good Friday agreement going?
PM: I say to Stormont, tear this dividing wall down!
Latham (Con): Exports are going up! Britain is working.
PM: We still need to do better so I’m going to sell more weapons
Slaughter: Some GPs are profitting from the #NHS privatisation. Stop them.
PM: Why? This is in the best interest of patients
Thurso (LD): Let’s not stop Brazilians tourists & their cash from coming here
PM: I agree, times are hard & we need their money
Powell (Lab): Average family suffering lost £1500 a year. You are fucking kids over.
PM: We got more childcare now. Learn to love me
Phillips (Con): Let’s cut the throat of welfare! Labour thinks money grows on trees!
Dodds (DUP): Prices of petrol are too damn high. Cut duty now.
PM: We already have done. Might do again for a popularity boost
Reid (LD): Let’s hope for more fossil fuel duty cuts!
PM: I respect your need to win votes.
Murray (Lab): How much more champagne will you be able to quaff under income tax cuts?
PM: Just as much as Ed Millionaire will
Maynard (Con): Help young deaf people, I’m deaf you know.
PM: Yes, yes, very important. I’m sorry I didn’t catch what you said
Brown (Lab): Defend the Army from reckless cuts!
PM: Fuck off. We’ve still got the world’s 4th largest war-mongering budget
O’Brien (Con): Should we patronise nurses further?
PM: We must bully them into caring more and ignore workload & pay problems.
Sheridan (Lab): Is it fair to punish the lowest paid workers with below-inflation pay rises of 1%?
PM: Well Ed Miliband agrees
Wollaston (Con): Can I privately beg you to bring in minimum pricing?
PM: No need, it will be done. Trust me.
James (Lab): I’m meeting cuddly pensioners in a minute, come and join in.
PM: I’m busy with Leveson. But I love pensioners
Thornton (LD): I got elected so Labour must be really shit.
PM: Well said.
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