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As heard by @justinthelibsoc

P Davies (Con): Cut taxes for the rich, and let the poor foreigners starve!
PM: We are cutting tax and services for those who rely on it most.

Ed M: Cyprus, it is pretty fucked. Help soldiers get their money back.
PM: No UK soldier will lose out, we’ve sent cash over.

Ed M: The plan is messed up, what did you know before it was announced?
PM: We are not in the Euro, so it’s none of my business.

Ed M: The Cypriot plan will make a bad situation worse. Beg for a better sell-out.
PM: Eurozone bailouts? Nothing to do with me guv.

Baldwin (Con): Strikes are so shit, I haven’t been troubled by it. Let’s sack strikers.
PM: Important point, we’ll continue this.

Ruddock (Lab): Save Lewisham A&E, you are fucking liar on the #NHS
PM: Hang on, this was Labour’s PFI deal. We’re only honouring it

Birtwhistle (LD): FTSE is up, that shows the market approves of our plan.
PM: Absolutely. The Economy is recovering.

Ed M: Why do you want to arm Syrian fighters now?
PM: Look we want make killing easier for our mates in the resistance not Assad.

Ed M: Careful you might end up arming Al Qaeda.
PM: We must only support the good guys. Remember the regime is anti-American.

Ed M: UN says it is unhelpful to give weapons. Support the UN instead.
PM: Yeah well that worked out well for Bosnia. Let’s topple Assad.

Morris (Con): Repair railway lines in my patch. Defend my electoral support!
PM: We will do so.

Ritchie (SDLP): #workfare law are unfair & welfare cuts is your poll tax.
PM: Nope, Sun readers love punishing benefit scroungers.

Bellingham (Con): 15 people have died on my roads. Do something
PM: Important campaign, like NHS, road safety is key priority.

Jamieson (Lab): Don’t cut tax for the rich. It is the wrong time.
PM: It’s higher then when you lot where in power.

Mowat (Con): A Warrington Bombing family in patch set up a charity. Praise their Britishness.
PM: Touching story. Of course.

Ashworth (Lab): Tory MEPs think your a dick by cutting 50% tax rate.
PM: I’ve spent time conjuring misleading statistics on this.

Uppal (Con): I like Punjabis and Sikhs. We can love the EU.
PM: Thanks for being my token Indian on that trip.

Onwurah (Lab): What advice do you have people suffering under Tory benefit cuts?
PM: It is not fair to subsidise the poor.

Burt (LD): Proud we pity the foreign poor. Let’s continue this patronage.
PM: Indeed. We also can teach the world on gender equality

D Johnson (Lab): Put yourself and cabinet on performance related pay!
PM: He has done a great job covering my arse!

Fuller (Con): We’ve got a local exploitation fund. Helping spread cheap labour.
PM: We should encourage this more.

Cunningham (Lab): Are you proud of cutting benefits and 50% tax rate?
PM: We got more jobs for no pay thanks to #workfare

Jones (Con): Lots of my voters aren’t paying income tax any more! Rejoice at low pay!
PM: More to come with benefits cuts too

Phillipson (Lab): Protect mortgages for middle incomes not Ed’s mansion!
PM: We are doing both.

Williamson (Con): We’ve created more plantations in my patch. Labour are shit.
PM: Jaguar are a great success in youth exploitation.

Greatrex (Lab): End modern slavery by foreigners.
PM: Absolutely, foreigners can’t be allowed to this.

Hames (LD): The lower end tax cut is due to the Lib Dems! A vote winner!
PM: We are on the side of the richest exploiters.

De Piero (Lab): What you spending your tax cut bonus on?
PM: You presenting bint, GMTV supports me.

Lewis (Con): Defend the SAS! Don’t let them go to prison for holding weapons.
PM: I support the army. But not my place to get involved.

Bayley (Lab): Income tax cuts do not cover the cost increase due to bedroom tax
PM: It is not a tax. It is not a tax. It is not a

Stewart (Con): Milton Keynes is the best place for exploitation. Praise us!
PM: Fantastic. More sole traders helping our statistics!

McDonald (Lab): Too many tweets make a what again?
PM: I now love my intern who I whip to tweet for me.

Vara (Con): Labour are as xenophobic as us, time to be as neoliberal too!
PM: Try as they might, they won’t achieve it.

Lucas (Grn): Hinckley is shit and subsidises EDF not ordinary people.
PM: I disagree we’re meeting green targets by using nuclear pollution.