As heard by @justinthelibsoc

McCann (Lab): Families are getting pay cuts while millionaires get tax cuts!
PM: You buggered the economy. We’re creating more jobs

Amess (Con): Thatcher’s dead, unlike my mum. Hurry up with EU referendum before she dies too.
PM: I love your mum. Vote Tory 2015

Ed M: I love the army too. A&Es are struggling. What you doing about it?
PM: I believe in investing in privatisation of the NHS.

Ed M: Failing your own NHS targets! You’re fucking it up.
PM: We met one target & doing better than Labour’s NHS in Wales!

Ed M: Patients loved Labour’s NHS. NHS calls are unanswered.
PM: Fuck you. Staffordshire hospital is Labour’s legacy

Ed M: You took £3 billion for your #NHS reforms. You are cutting nurses jobs!
PM: Labour will cut NHS spending! You’re doing it Wales

Ed M: You are cutting funding even @statisticsONS had to tell you to stop lying.
PM: We are pumping money into the new NHS structures #PMQs

Ed M: You shitted all over Britain’s A&E services. Not safe in Tory Hands
PM: Labour in Wales: 8% cuts, ambulances missing targets

Wharton (Con): We’ve reduced the deficit by a third! Praise us for fucking up our pledges!
PM: Right! Labour would do even worse

Robertson (SNP): You are dining with businessmen who love war criminals.
PM: Well Hague is ending war conflict rape so bugger off

Scott (Con): We should enslave the poor. We love benefit scroungers too.
PM: Absolutely, taking the poor out of tax justifies our cuts

Hodgson (Lab): A disabled constituent died due being told he was “fit to work”.
PM: Sad that but it is proof these reforms are working

Rudd (Con): In my patch, private sector exploitation is increasing!
PM: Good, we’ve massaged the figures & we are boosting #workfare

Hepburn (Lab): Bankers’ bonuses are up, tax cuts for millionaires. It’s class war!
PM: We cut tax for everyone. Reasons to vote Tory!

Ottaway (Con): We still have Modern Slavery, so let’s fight it.
PM: Sad that it continues and nothing like renting your labour.

S Jones (Lab): How much have you personally saved due to top-rate tax cut?
PM: I pay my share. Everyone can be a millionaire!

Duddridge (Con): Let’s force people into work.
PM: Exactly what the welfare reforms will do. This is fair. MAKE WORK PAY for us

Hunt (Lab): Make Tory MEPs stand up for British Business in the EU!
PM: You are a dick. Your MEPs are voting against our rebate!

Farron (LD): Some public sector whistleblowers got arrested. IT IS AN OUTRAGE I tell you!
PM: Err.. I will look into it

Smith (Lab): Care home abuse is rife. A new law will fix it.
PM: It is criminal. Privatised care homes must be regulated properly

Nokes (Con): Dubious Internet slimming products are killing our kids
PM: Horrible. Let’s think, laws are not always the answer

Irranca-Davies (Lab): What happened with Tanni Grey-Thompson and the top job at Sport England?
PM: A proper decision was taken

de Bois (Con): Community covenant hasn’t been signed in my patch for Armed Forces Day
PM: We must look after our national mercenaries

Ritchie (SDLP): What happened to Universal Credit roll-out? Is it unravelling already?
PM: It is right to pilot it first. No Big Bang

Russell (LD): Lots of dodgy things going on in Tory councils. Inquiry please!
PM: If you want good value for money, vote Tory

Flello: 2600 children need food banks to stop starving in my patch. Shame on you
PM: Disappointing, Labour used to praise food banks

Stevenson (Con): Public are concerned w/ Labour wasting money on excessive high wages!
PM: We should privatise more council services

Osborne (Lab): Unemployment is the workers or mining communities fault. Same old Tories.
PM: Work has gone up, just not in coal mining

Latham (Con): Manufacturing companies growing is the best way to fix economy
PM: Exploitation in your patch is going well. Vote Tory!

Walley: Ban the pesticides that are killing the bees!
PM: Oh My God! I love bees! We need to look into this!

Huppert (LD): Cycling is needed to be support. Get Britain cycling!
PM: You are right but still a dickhead. Follow Boris’ lead

Gardiner (Lab): The situation at Sport England, you fixed it didn’t you?
PM: It was done properly and the right decision was made

Metcalfe (Con): You can’t borrow your way out of debt. Labour SAY SORRY!
PM: Ed M is a weak shitty leader. Blair said he was shit.