As heard by @JustinTheLibSoc

Hunt (Lab): Tories rebelling on EU. Why are Liberal Democrats so shit?
DPM: We had to break our pledges to satisfy the bond markets

Bone (Con): LibDems are lying scumbags on an In/Out Referendum
DPM: We made a deal with Cameron on referendum. Shut the fuck up

Harman (Lab): The PM is hiding isn’t he! 1 PMQs out of 8 Wednesdays is a joke.
DPM: I love Cameron, he allows me to do this.

Harman: Cameron is telling Obama how much he loves the EU.
DPM: Yes he does, err. but after negotiations in 2015/6

Harman: On Queen’s Speech vote, will the PM vote with his government?
DPM: We’ve given conditions on an EU Referendum

Harman: You can’t even say if the PM would vote with his own govt! Long-term Unemployment is up
DPM: I feel sorry for poor people

Harman: Fuck off. Wages are stagnating. Thanks Clegg
PM: You were sucking bankers’ organs & now we’re proudly hollowing the state

Harman: You weak shit. You’re cutting tax for the rich!
DPM: Whatevs. You didn’t exactly rush to raise taxes on the rich did you?

Gale (Con): Let’s debate why we should be getting the fuck out of the EU
DPM: We’ve given a legal guarantee for next time. Honest

Flello (Lab): We need to stop price fixing in Oil. Why block it?
DPM: Jog on. What did you lot do over the last 13 years on this?

James (Con): Give these evil Asians the longest sentences possible.
DPM: Yup, evil Asians & brave girls. The Police fucked up too

Perkins (Lab): 69% of Remploy is still unemployed. Cheaper to keep them in jobs
DPM: I followed the advice of our chosen advisors

Turner (Con): What happened to your promise an In/Out referendum? Lying shitbag
DPM: It was on a condition. Read the small print

DPM: We promote the Queen’s speech

McCrea (DUP): The Police needs to work unhindered, I blame Sinn Fein. Do something.
DPM: Err… let’s just talk

Reid (LD): We’ve got the EU to invest in oil but stop price-fixing!
DPM: I support the Euro Commission’s investigation

McGovern (Lab): Remploy in my patch is closing. Workers not allowed to leave their jobs for new ones!
DPM: I care about the disabled

Stewart (Con): Electricity bills are too DAMN HIGH! Smart grids now!
DPM: Well done on this thingamyjig. Will look into it.

Donohoe (Lab): We used to have state price controls. Will you bring it back?
DPM: Thanks to the EU, Oil is being investigated!

Leigh (Con): You said it is time for In/Out referendum. An imposter or a hypocrite?
DPM: You can always trust the words of a Lib Dem.

Murray (Lab): Do you agree with yourself that Royal Mail privatisation is too far?
DPM: I believe in John Lewis style worker partnership.

Hughes (LD): More tears over Sri Lanka’s Human Rights record!
DPM: I’ll write a strong letter about Sri Lankan Government’s genocide

Jones (Lab): Youth Unemployment has trebled in this government! Give a shit?
DPM: It went down a bit. The kids have workfare too

Adams (Con): In Yorkshire, human exploitation is increasingly profitable!
DPM: Brilliant! My patch is in Yorkshire you know.

Hepburn (Lab): Workers that were poisoned by their bosses are getting nothing
DPM: We are paying out but we can’t help every poor git!

Gray (Con): “We will let the people decide”. Will you now?
DPM: Look let’s agree to cap benefits and shut up.

Long (All): Kids aren’t get enough food to survive.
DPM: Big love for @EnoughFoodIF. Make Poverty History did wonders for Labour

Lloyd (LD): We downgraded our maternity services in my patch now it is shit.
DPM: I’ll discuss this with Jeremy Cunt.

McDonagh (Lab): I’ve got a big Tamil community in my patch. Tell Sri Lankan Govt to FUCK OFF!
DPM: We need the Commonwealth for growth

Heaton-Harris (Con): Spread the legacy of the Paralympics and support the Special Olympic Games!
DPM: We’ve put Lord Coe on the case.