As heard by @JustinTheLibSoc
Leslie (Con): Let’s remember the NHS death by shaming Labour for the culture of secrecy!
PM: YEAH! IT WAS LABOUR’S FAULT!
Ed M: Appalling that Egyptians aren’t abiding by democracy. Save Britons there!
PM: Fucking foreigners don’t understand voting.
Ed M: Yes. Egyptians should get around the negotiating table
PM: Morsi needs to suck up the criticism, we can’t handle another coup
Ed M: We need more primary school places, no increase to class sizes?
PM: We have provided the money for new free schools
Ed M: Class sizes are rising! Why you building schools in wrong places?
PM: It is Labour’s fault. Gove knows what he is doing.
Ed M: More kids will be taught in portacabins as Gove builds in areas of surplus!
PM: Unions have got their hands up your arse!
Ed M: You lapdog, you dine with rich wankers!
PM: You are a weak toad that can’t even stand down your paymasters
Lumley (Con): Labour is corrupt, they don’t even believe in one member one vote.
PM: That’s how Len McCluskey got Ed the job!
Timms (Lab): Food banks are going up, sign of economic problems, no?
PM: Went up ten times under Labour. We’ve given people a tax cut
Davies (Con): Let’s praise the police for solving a murder!
PM: Shocking events, let’s hope the judge isn’t a soft touch.
Betts (Lab): Your care plans will sell out poor pensioners.
PM: We said which costs which will be covered. Labour did fuck all.
McIntosh (Con): Level playing for British Farmers, let’s hope the EU doesn’t screw us.
PM: We will roll out the new plans slowly
Robinson (Lab): Why is Osborne intervening for RBS in tax affairs?
PM: Look you fiddled books in your time so do one
Huppert (LD): Let’s support independent shops to stop clone town centres!
PM: I got a celebrity on the job. Britain must shop more
Brown (Lab): Did you like my patch?
PM: Very nice.
Brown (Lab): Unemployment is the key problem
PM: Got a exploitation zone there!
Beith (LD): Get on with the A1 fix in the North East!
PM: By starving the poor, we can spend money on this unlike Labour’s reign
Berger (Lab): Why has been capital investment cut by a billion?
PM: We’re spending more than Labour planned! Thanks to welfare cuts
Baldwin (Con): Are we finally getting rid of Abu Fucking Qatada?
PM: We got an agreement but let’s be patient.
Cryer (Lab): You haven’t done well with this investment programme?
PM: It hasn’t started yet, plum! McCluskey paid for that question
Nuttall (Con): Sample the delights of Ramsbottom! Thanks for the employer tax cut!
PM: Yeah we are fixing Broken Britain.
Robertson (SNP): Ditch these shitty plans you have for Scotland.
PM: You are running scared of the referendum. Good.
Baker (Con): Voluntary Rotary clubs are better than unions in helping the poor!
PM: Absolutely they are the Big Society
Docherty (Lab): 10,000 signed up to Green Deal
PM: Err we have signed up over 37,000. Even you are on it.
Selous (Con): You are being called a hypocrite on tax dodging?
PM: It is Labour’s shame that they are doing it too.
Doyle (Lab): #Workfare programme is failing minimum performance standards
PM: It is working! People are forced to work for free
Lee (Con): Health tourists are fucking up the economy. We need National socialism not international socialism!
Glass (Lab): Bedroom tax is bloody disaster isn’t it?
PM: Only fair to subsidise private landlords, they are likely to vote Tory
Burstow (LD): Law means staff can get prosecuted for neglect in care homes but not corporate organisations.
PM: Shock horror.
Bradshaw (Lab): Don’t do a deal with Murdoch to water down Leveson’s proposals.
PM: We have agreed to kick into the long grass
Drax (Con): I’d like to say waffle waffle waffle
Speaker: What a complete waste of time, you dick.
Bone (Con): Let’s abolish modern day slavery!
PM: Maybe but it can’t jeopardise Workfare
Jackson (Lab): Help this domestic violence victim who is a foreigner
PM: I love women so I am happy to help on this ONE case
Freeman (Con): Let’s turn the NHS more into a consumer driven service!
PM: Yes, privatisation will make it more transparent.
Flynn (Lab): Bullying thanks to Police & Crime Commissioner
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