As heard by @JustinTheLibSoc

PM: It is 12th anniversary of 9/11, some Brits died & that makes me sad.

Brooke (LD): Can someone think of the Syrian children?
PM: Syrians want us to bomb 1st but we’ll provide food & cash first

Ed M: Brits died in 9/11. Unemployment drop good, underemployment is bad.
PM: Need to cut more to deliver for hardworking bankers

Ed M: Gideon saved the economy? Still fucked in the regions!
PM: You said we’d kill off growth, WRONG! We only did for 3 years!

Ed M: Well done shitface. Inflation is eating living standards!
PM: We’ve cut tax but we got to continue to cut taxes to keep up.

Ed M: Only time economy got a boost, when you cut tax on bankers wages!
PM: You are full of shit, even the TUC knows it.

Ed M: You care only for bankers not food banks! Agree with Gove?
PM: Food banks went up 10x under Labour. So swivel on it.

Ed M: Gove = fucking disgrace, you are not a ONE NATION PM!
PM: You promised Raging Bull at the TUC but you gave us Chicken Run!

Vickers (Con): We need help in my patch, give us money to get me votes
PM: We will ensure the money comes.

Goodman (Lab): Young people are losing jobs by 70K. Fuck you.
PM: 100k on #Workfare that is what is happening. We need more of it

Dorries (Con): Abortion in the UK is like China. No Abortion for female foetuses!
PM: Very important as the Torygraph raised it.

Owen (Lab): Walk on Wales, is a mental health charity, please support troops suffering with MH.
PM: Yup will do. I love charidee

Birtwistle (LD): Labour fucked up, we’re cleaning up. The cuts work
PM: Good news that there is more exploitation in Britain

De Piero (Lab): Why are bonuses rising again?
PM: It’s lower than it was under Labour. Twitter says Ed is a dickhead

Rudd (Con): More jobs made in private sector than 3 times public sector loss
PM: The market miracle, creating less efficient jobs

Shuker (Lab): My constituents care about the cost of living.
PM: Yeah well the answer is to cut taxes which we did. NEXT

Barwell (Con): Lots of kids on #workfare & more jobs coming from Westfield
PM: Very important we need more people being exploited

Clarke (Lab): Why are the mentally ill kept in police cells?
PM: Age old problem but we’ll negotiate something with the cops.

Smith (Con): Unemployment falling in my patch. I’m helping locals get exploited.
PM: NEETs are falling thanks to #workfare

McCarthy (Lab): Do you think the 500k going to foodbanks should blame themselves?
PM: I’m proud of the numbers going to foodbanks

Fuller (Con): Ed Miliband is a shit-dick
PM: Ed Miliband is a clown.

Turner (Lab): Why are wages rising in Germany & France but not here?
PM: Cos wage suppression is creating jobs! Labour knows this

Latham (Con): The TUC wants co-ordinated strikes. Aren’t they scumbags?
PM: Trade Union leaders not the membership are shit-stains.

Creasy (Lab): Get justice for a local kid who was killed in Crete.
PM: Very serious, not FCO fault but I’ll help in this case

Newmark (Con): Essex Council helped kids who had their local school burned down.
PM: Well done Essex. Vote Tory!

Roy (Lab): Living standards have dropped the furthest in the G20.
PM: We need to encourage more personal debt and cut taxes

Main (Con): Rana Plaza was a disgrace. Shouldn’t clothes be ethically traded from Bangladesh?
PM: Excellent point. Good luck.

Sharma (Lab): A&E crisis might be due to the 5,000 nurses you’ve cut
PM: Hang on, we protected spending on the NHS! Labour didn’t

Russell (LD): Israel is ethnically cleansing the Bedouin. Let’s condemn it.
PM: Wouldn’t go that far but we condemn illegal settlements.

Gasbag (Respect): Parliament beat you! HAHA! Democracy works!
PM: Shut up, we all know how much you crawl up dictators’ arses!