PMQs Minus The Bullshit – Cameron thanks IDS for making Labour love the Welfare Cap
Posted by Justin on 11 Dec 2013 /
As heard by
Creasy (Lab): Many young women are unemployed is that why you want to keep Page 3?
PM: I am getting behind working women
Burrowes (Con): Silly black kids are carrying knives in my patch! Lock ’em all up?
PM: We need to scare the shit out of them 1st
Ed M: This pay rise for MPs is going to make us look fucking ridiculous
PM: Totes agree mate. We may have to abolish IPSA
Ed M: Let’s unite against our paymasters who are oppressing us before #Vote2015
PM: Let’s send a message.
Ed M: It is bad form and bad timing, isn’t it?
PM: This is your fucking mess. I will be making the most of this.
Ed M: People’s living are going down, why can’t Georgie admit it?
PM: We got more exploiters and big growth! So swivel on it
Ed M: What a load of bollocks. Why you cutting tax for the rich again?
PM: It’s higher now than under Labour’s 13 years of govt!
Ed M: Under Labour the state subsidised low wages. You’re not!
PM: O RLY? You bankrupted the state mate! Capital is now booming!
Morris (Con): #workfare is up & low apprenticeship wages is working for Britain
PM: We’re seeing privatisation bringing more jobs
Doughty (Lab): Working women are working for less. Are you proud?
PM: Yes more women are exploited as a result
Burstow (LD): Let’s redouble our investment into Dementia, might help my vote!
PM: Grey vote very important so yes we will do.
Jarvis (Lab): Universal Credit is a complete cock-up. Sack IDS now!
PM: We’re taking our time to take him outside…
Metcalfe (Con): Best way to break workers’ spirit is continuing our spending plans.
PM: Millionaires in Basildon will thank us
Meacher (Lab): FTSE 100 directors are getting richer, is Tory nastiness endless?
PM: Fuck off, New Labour wasn’t much better.
Mulholland (LD): Punch taverns have been overcharging for beer! Sort it out
PM: I know you love your beer mate, will look into it.
Edwards (PC): George said a third of our life should be in retirement. What about Wales lower life expectancy?
PM: Tough shit.
Doyle-Price (Con): We raised local money to celebrate a dead soldier.
PM: I’m grateful we didn’t have to shell out for it.
Harris (Lab): Marriage tax break allowance is a fucking joke isn’t it?
PM: Well it motivated Ed Miliband to get married so useful for something.
Lilley (Con): Let’s gerrymander the constituency boundaries so we’ll win in 2015! Fuck Labour!
PM: That is tempting..
Durkan (SDLP): You’re removing jobs from Northern Ireland! Why dickhead why?
PM: The Private Sector needs less competition.
Lefroy (Con): National Citizen Service is shaping the loyal citizens of the future
PM: Prince Charles & Labour wants more of this
O’Donnell (Lab): So much for caring for families bullshit. Maternity & Paternity pay will be in the welfare cap won’t it?
Baldry (Con): Well done for creating an incentive to sack 22 year olds!
PM: We need more youth exploitation that’s why we did it
Watts (Lab): Will you sack IDS? Universal Credit is shit
PM: W/out IDS, Labour wouldn’t be backing the Welfare Cap. Job well done
Nuttall (Con): Help poor people by cutting income tax & gutting the welfare state!
PM: Labour would only put taxes up on the poor
Roy (Lab): Some kids won’t enjoy Christmas! What have you done w/ Santa?
PM: We are making him & parents more market efficient
Evans (Ind): Let’s get our best warmachine makers to take on more young people
PM: We ensuring it is cheaper to hire young people
Munn (Lab): We need to show we care about Syria. Shouldn’t we bomb them?
PM: We lost the vote. We’ll send arms to rebels again
Duddridge (Con): Come and celebrate my local airport, Essex style!
PM: Errr I’ll look up what that means
Rotheram (Lab): The Beatles are great and from Liverpool. Work with the Mayor of Liverpool.
PM: No problem, we shared a platform.
Horwood (LD): Have you been taking selfies?
PM: When Kinnock asked for a picture I had to oblige.
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Written by Justin
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